On Being Lonely and Laura

I have a glaringly Irish and rather generic first and last name combination. As such, I’m often on the receiving end of electronic correspondence that is intended for some other Shamrock McWhiskey who wasn’t quick enough in snagging Shamrock McWhiskey at gmail dot com (or maybe she has Shamrock McWhisky (no “e”) or some other variation thereof and the people sending the messages are bad enough friends to not know how to spell poor Shamrock’s last name correctly). Anyhow. My inbox gets a lot of non-spam action from strangers who I presume to be the other Shamrock’s friends.

Though a disbeliever in fate and other magical, romanticized concepts, I often find myself mystified and smiling sillily at odd coincidences and the like. One of these odd coincidence-like things occurred last summer when I received one of Shamrock McWhisky’s emails. A man named Kyle (who I imagine to have been spellbound by Shamrock’s beauty and brains and the victim of unrequited love) sent a list of songs for Shamrock to acquire and listen to. This very Rob Gordon-esque thing is the thing of all things that I dream some adorable and well-meaning man will do for me someday. But, alas, I’m left to live vicariously through Shamrock McWhisky and my inbox fails to see such marvelous things as intended for me. The subject of Kyle’s email, “You can change any habit that you want changed.” spoke volumes to me at the time (hence why I classify the receipt of this message as an odd and wonderful coincidence-like thing). This well-known ditty by Elliott Smith was tucked among the list of songs for Shamrock to enjoy along with the following notation: “I know you know, just wanted you to know that I know.” Thanks, Kyle. I don’t know but I hope to soon.

"And the feeling is That there’s something wrong ‘Cause I can’t find the words and..."

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 00:04:11 -0400

“And the feeling is
That there’s something wrong
‘Cause I can’t find the words
and I can’t find the songs”

peterfeld: “There are going to be times when we can’t wait for...

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 11:25:10 -0400

peterfeld:

“There are going to be times when we can’t wait for somebody. Now, you’re either on the bus or off the bus. If you’re on the bus, and you get left behind, then you’ll find it again. If you’re off the bus in the first place –- then it won’t make a damn.” -Ken Kesey

The ides of March are come.

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 09:17:00 -0400

Ay, Caesar; but not gone.

Guess who made a very, very sound economic decision this morning and now has a seat on an aeroplane...

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 12:41:09 -0400

Guess who made a very, very sound economic decision this morning and now has a seat on an aeroplane that will be soaring through the sky to Chicago, Illinois in the month of May. Hint: It’s me!

What he said.

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 00:40:00 -0500

firmuhment:

More wanderlust. (Florida by Modest Mouse)

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 00:11:00 -0500

More wanderlust. (Florida by Modest Mouse)

My grief is not helped by receiving pictures of a green Chicago...

Sat, 13 Mar 2010 16:22:54 -0500

My grief is not helped by receiving pictures of a green Chicago River.

(That’s not entirely true. I smiled such a smile but Jesus do I just want to be there.)

Dear Chicago: I miss you. A lot.

Sat, 13 Mar 2010 14:24:00 -0500

Dear Chicago: I miss you. A lot.

"If you can think of times in your life that you’ve treated people with extraordinary decency and..."

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 15:02:06 -0500

“If you can think of times in your life that you’ve treated people with extraordinary decency and love, and pure uninterested concern, just because they were valuable as human beings. The ability to do that with ourselves. To treat ourselves the way we would treat a really good, precious friend. Or a tiny child of ours that we absolutely loved more than life itself. And I think it’s probably possible to achieve that. I think part of the job we’re here for is to learn how to do it.”

- David Foster Wallace (via psychotherapy) (via quote-book)

Stop it, David Foster Wallace. Stop it now. (And stop it to me, too. No more David Foster Wallace posts.)

This is old and long and has caused me to spend much of the last hour in tears.

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 22:43:00 -0500

This is old and long and has caused me to spend much of the last hour in tears. :

I’m not especially sharing this because it’s about David Foster Wallace (though love him, I do); I’m sharing it because of its honesty. Also: for the tidbit about the tattoo.

We met under less than desirable circumstances. Our first night...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:01:00 -0500

We met under less than desirable circumstances. Our first night together was probably even less desirable than said (but not really defined) circumstances. Despite these circumstances (or maybe because of them), he stuck around and I stuck around and here we are.

I had the honor of taking him to see Mike Doughty for his birthday, where we indulged in Bud Lights and Jack and Cokes until we were singing the back-up vocals to each other. This night came at a time when I (desperately) needed a few hours of Bud Light and Mike Doughty and I can’t help but think that our drunken singing helped to maintain my sanity for at least a little bit longer. Despite how dreadful these less than desirable (but not really defined) circumstances are, they make me realize how lucky I am (damn them). “No manure, no magic,” etc.

I nearly rejoined Facebook today, three whole days after...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:44:00 -0500

I nearly rejoined Facebook today, three whole days after throwing in the towel. Never did I feel more compelled to “update” my “status” than when I learned of the death of Corey Haim.

Yes, I truly am this awesome of a person.

RIP.

Adventures in Hockey

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 21:35:00 -0500

I tripped someone (on purpose) for the first time tonight. I wish it weren’t incredibly weird to carry around a stick (and to use it for tripping purposes) when I’m off the ice because, really, it felt pretty incredible. (I should probably note that he deserved it.)